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Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Last Summer

In many ways, summer can be the most difficult time for a college student. The student goes from having not enough time, to having too much time to think and dwell on things. For me, summer is fun for a little while, until I must invent projects to keep me busy. It is easy to worry. Worry about the future; worry about the past; and worry about the present. I compare my life to others' and criticize everything I do. I think more than I act. But, I imagine that the most difficult summer for a college student is the summer before they graduate. Not sure where they are going and wondering how they will get there, the student suddenly realizes that they have only seen a small part of the world. No matter what major they have chosen, these revelations are all the same for every person.
I believe the last summer is a summer for reflection. I ask myself many different questions: What have I accomplished? How will I achieve my goals? Who do I want to be?
I'm sure that these questions are normal. Even the fear of the unknown is a natural human instinct. But, this summer I have asked even more questions: Who have I become? How did I get here? What should I let go of? What should I keep?
It is ironic how simple these questions are and how complicated there answers will be. But the one question that towers above them all is this: Do I have the right perspective? Over the years I have learned small lessons on how the world works. I learned to pay my dues, appreciate what I have and earn what I want. So how do I view the world now? College is its own universe, and I will be going from an educational routine, to a new life and system in the working world.
So this summer, I will try to organize everything I know and learn its proper place. Life is about constant change, and people must remove the old to make way for the new. I will be doing this not only with my books, movies, CDs and toys, but with my memories and thoughts. Because it's my last summer, I hope this project will rejuvenate me and inspire me to hope instead of worry. Perhaps by organizing my life now, I can be a better and stronger person in the future. Maybe, the last summer is a time to discover and understand the self.

I invite my readers to share: What did you feel or how would you feel during your last summer?

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