Riley and Farkle's Scrapbook: A Girl Meets World Theory

Farkle and Riley have been friends since childhood. Both are unique in their own way, and usually they celebrate that, but there are times when Riley and Farkle are not confident with who they are. Whether these two realize it or not, they share a deep connection based on their response to emotions. 

When we first meet Riley, she's trying to be like Maya. She tells Maya, "What I forgot to mention is that I'm completely reinventing myself... I'm just as cool as you now." 

Throughout the episode, Riley follows Maya's lead, but that's just at school right? Well . . .

When Riley gets home from school, and Cory and Topanga ask her why she's trying to be Maya, she responds with "How important is it that you don't know me at all?" 

She's clearly frustrated with the image that her parents have of her, and she questions it. 

She asks herself "Is this who I'm going to be for the rest of my life?" And she questions whether she will ever break free of the image she has gained. 

So, who do people think Riley is? Well, that's where Farkle comes in: 

"Riley is the sun, warm and bright and lights up my whole day." 

So there's one element of "Riley" 

The other is "good girl" as Cory and Topanga point out, but there's one more.

So "Riley" is defined as someone who is "sunny", good and just like Cory. But how does she feel about that? She's trying to be Maya. Maya got the "cool" role. She's "night" and Riley wants to be cool. Why? 

Riley tells us in Yearbook that she has a dark side. A side of her that no one really acknowledges because they assume she will be "Smiley Riley" all the time. So Riley's emotions, particularly the negative ones like sadness and anger are often suppressed because she feels like she has to live up to that identity. 

Who else is like this? 

Farkle. How is Farkle viewed in this story? 

Okay. Farkle is a scientist. He's smart, answers practically every question and he's Stuart Minkus's son. 

That's fine for him, until he gets bullied in Flaws, and called nothing. That statement really got to him. I wonder why? 

Farkle is known as "Canada" throughout the series. He's taken advantage of, at times ignored, but he's always there for Riley and Maya. 

So, how does Farkle feel about his role? 

When the girls first meet Farkle, he's embarassed to tell them his name, and he tells them not to laugh. Judging by his behavior in Bay Window, he is constantly ridiculed by his name and the "role" he has to play as the "Minkus" of the story. 

He's also not sure if he's a robot or human. And he's not exactly comfortable with emotions. So Farkle doesn't really enjoy the image that people have given him either, but how does he view himself? 

He's his own worst critic. That's not very encouraging. So Farkle and Riley can both relate in the fact that they want to change who they are. So, how do they cope with that? Well, they are whoever anyone wants them to be. 

When Riley tells Farkle that he's the best actor in middle school, he completely changes his identity. He's pretty happy with his new role, until he learns it's a lie, but he still thanks Riley for helping him believe in himself. 

When Farkle tells Riley that she's popular with his friends, Riley changes who she is, and she's happy with the new role that he's given her, until she realizes that it's a lie also. 

Both Riley and Farkle react in the same way, because both are not happy with the roles they've been given in their story so far. 

This scene in Yearbook, right before Farkle changes into Donnie Barnes is very informative. We see that both Riley and Farkle really care what people think about them, and they're upset. Why are they upset? 

And why would that hurt? Because both Riley and Farkle have been bullied, and neither feel like they can escape the box that they've been put in by the people around them. This is why Farkle "Changes' into Donnie Barnes, a cool guy, and Riley "changes" into a cool goth girl. 

So why do they change? What is their motivation?

Both Riley and Farkle want to "change the game". They don't want to be seen in the images they currently identify with. But it's a little more complicated than that. Both are repressing their emotions, how they really feel, in order to maintain the image that they have created. 

Neither Farkle nor Riley feel loved and accepted in their lives. They both feel like they have to play a certain role in order to get attention or be taken seriously. They have this in common because both are neglected in similar ways. Riley has been emotionally neglected, because she is expected to be happy and naive all the time. Farkle is neglected at home, and his parents compinsate with "money and penguins." Farkle is also taken advantage of and ignored often, which is why he continues to grow frustrated with his current role in the story. 

Despite the fact that Farkle and Riley constantly change who they are, they always accept who each other decide to be. 

Farkle knows who Riley really is. 

Riley knows who Farkle really is. 

But they also accept whatever versions of eachother that they have chosen to be. 

Although they have been many different people throughout the series, each person that they have been still has value to both of them. 

All these different personas bring Riley and Farkle one step closer to learning who they are. "Because who you are isn't based on today or tomorrow, but a whole bunch of days of what you do." - Jexica

Both of them can recognize the desire to be accepted for who they are, and that connects them in a very powerful way.

But despite that recognition: 

Neither Farkle nor Riley have the confidence that they will break free and write their own stories. But they're getting there. First, they need to accept and acknowledge their emotions, and how they truly feel. But I believe they will get there, because they are closer than they think they are. 

They're already writing their own story, together.

Fireflies

We each have a spark to offer the world. It's a moment where we shine. That spark doesn't always happen right away. If all of us shone at once, the world would be boring, and none of us would feel very special. That's why we all have such random and unpredictable successes in our lives.
These fireflies light up every night near my parent's house, and they create a magical atmosphere to the every day walk.
Fireflies don't all light up at once. Sometimes they light in patterns, and others light the same time they do, but other times they shine first, then the next one, and then the next one. Sometimes they are the last to shine, and in the darkness there is only their light.
Nature, life and moments are unpredictable. That's why they are so important.

Stars

"To the people who looked at the stars and wished." - Feyre

 "To the stars who listened and the dreams that are answered." -Rhysand

This beautiful quote is from the book A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Mass. 

The universe works in mysterious ways, and sometimes you don't understand what it's trying to say. There are times when it's difficult to listen. 

Cory Matthews from Girl Meets World has another great quote about the universe: 

"The universe is the most confusing place you'll ever live. But if you listen carefully, you'll find out that it's paying attention and that it cares about you." 

I think my pride and my anger prevented me from listening, but now my heart is open to new possibilities. I'm on a path that I can't control, but I can learn from experiences and keep moving forward. 

This is my heartsong for the moment. As I go through a time of transition, I will listen. 

Lessons Learned

Sometimes we have to crash and burn before we can move forward. 

I'm really lucky. I have a family who supports me and helps me get what I want, even if my decisions are impulsive. 

Here's the truth. I love Disney, and that's never going to change. 

I went to Florida, and things happened because I made them happen. I applied for jobs down here, and my family helped me move down here. 

But before I got here, I was fighting a viscous battle with anxiety. I felt lost, and as if the world wouldn't stop spinning. I was moving from place to place with no goals, and I was ashamed of the fact that I hadn't accomplished what I wanted to. 

My uncle died. It was a shock. I was scared and I didn't know if there was anything I could do. 

He was really proud of me, and I learned that he was telling everyone about my travels in South Korea. 

But I felt that I had failed. I felt that I wasn't going after anything that I wanted. 

Now, I had some incredible adventures in South Korea. I started writing again. I made all these amazing friends, and I felt like I was in a memorable chapter of my life. I learned so many lessons, and I even have a few scars. 

I moved from South Korea to Colorado to Arkansas and then Florida. I was able to work for the job I wanted, but I wasn't able to keep it. 

My grief crept up on me. And my shame. 

So I'm going back, and I'm starting from scratch. 

I'm fighting a battle with anxiety, and I'm going to win it. For my uncle. For my parents, and most of all, for me. 

I will make things happen. This time with a more grateful attitude. I will keep writing, because it's my passion. My new goal is to get my trilogy published. One goal to focus on. I think that's a good start. 

I still haven't given up on my dream. But I know, and I think my subconscious knew first that I need some help right now. I need a safe haven, and that's something I need to create. 

I'll get there. One step at a time. 

Note to Self

You are strong

Even when you feel weak.

You are brave

Even when you are afraid.

You are capable

Of what you set your mind to.

You are moving

Even when you feel

that you are standing still.

You are loved

Even when you feel loathed.

You are beautiful

Even on days that you feel

you are not.

You are amazing

Especially during the times

you feel like nothing at all. 

You are not

alone,

helpless,

pathetic,

or broken. 

You are

who you are. 

Smelling the Roses

I'll admit that I'm always in a hurry, and I'm always giving myself deadlines, goals to meet and I'm pretty much my own worst critic. I hardly ever stop to smell the roses. I notice them, admire them from a far, but then I'm on to the next task. It's easy to get caught up in the rush of a daily schedule from work to play. Many people get stressed out during vacations- and it's easy to get caught up in the fray. 

One of the things I must practice is appreciating the here and now, the present moment. 

This is essential for a writer, observer and an artist. Part of art is getting caught up in the moment, whatever that moment may be. 

It's one way to feel grateful for what's around you. It's a different perspective. 

Is it easy? No. It's very difficult because most everyone is doing the same thing- complaining, rushing from one place to the next. And yes, I've done my fair share of complaining, but sometimes the healthier and happier choice is to appreciate the here and now. 

The Year in Review

This year was filled with lessons, reflections and choices. 

I began the year with my friends in South Korea, norebanging- (karaoke) and finishing my project for my trilogy. 

In January I finished my trilogy- plot wise. 

In Feburary I celebrated Lunar New Year at the Gold Buddha Temple.

I made a wish... 

 and I saw Hong Kong Disneyland! 

I reflected on my life so far at the Lotus statue: 

In March, I focused on my new story based on Cupid and Psyche- I visited a beautiful Buddhist private school with my friend Whitney and drew inspiration for my Korean Fairytale story: 

In April, I explored Jeju island! 

And I saw my favorite flowers: Cherry Blossoms around South Korea! 

In May, I become an Agent of Shield! 

 And I reflected on my experience teaching English in South Korea: 

In June, I visited my friend Becca

 explored San Francisco, 

and I went to Disneyland for their 60th anniversary courtesy of my friend Becca :) 

In July, I went to the Dragon Boat festival: 

Began researching butterflies . . .

And my friend Kim came to visit! We went to a cool Mythology exhibit! 

In August, I did a lot of soul searching, and writing.

September came with many changes . . . 

I lost someone very dear to me . . . 

My Uncle Huey, who loved great stories, comic book heroes, and his daughter Jamie. 

October was a soul searching month as well . . . 

I met some cool people . . . 

I landed a job close to my home away from home: 

I witnessed a beautiful wedding for someone I've known all my life: 

In November I started a new life in a new place: 

Faced some dragons. 

And in December I found the force again . . .

I learned a lot about gratitude

Saw some beautiful things. And hope to be more grateful for each day I have. 

For the new year: 

My resolutions are

1. Publish my novel

2. Practice more gratitude

3. Listen to my heart

4. Never give up

5. Keep Moving Forward