The Lesson of the Lotus

A lotus must bloom

through the murky mud of life

to be all it is. 

Character Inspiration for the Day: Uncle Iroh

From Avatar the Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra. 

Iroh's wisdom comes from experience, and so many of his words inspire me to live as the best person I can be. 

His story is a long and complicated one. He lost his son to the war, and though he was a Great War general, he was not able to take Ba Sing Se. He becomes caretaker to his bitter nephew Zuko and does his best to guide Zuko on a happier path. 

Iroh is not only the wise and mellow old man, but he is also a great and open minded warrior who has learned from all the cultures that he has met in his life. 

He not only advices Zuko, but throughout the series he is mentor to Toph, Aang and Korra, guiding them when they need it most. 

Not only do I wnat to write a character like Uncle Iroh, but I also want to echo his wisdom in the way I live my life. His quotes have inspired me to look for light when I am in darkness, and to remember that everyone has their own battle, and we should do our best to help them on their journey. 

Monsters University- A Movie Review

I think that everyone in their twenties needs to see this movie. Especially those who have graduated college, or are about to graduate college. It has the most powerful message and even deals with the quarter life crisis in a way. I don't want to spoil this movie for anyone, but I will say that the story is deep and the lesson is something we should all learn once we reach the twenties. 

My favorite quote is from Dean Abagail who says, "Keep surprising people." Once you see the movie, you will understand why this quote is so important, and why it is even more important to believe in yourself, no matter what. 

Seriously. Go see this movie!

Fruits Basket 20 day challenge day 1: How did you find out about Fruits Basket?

I discovered Fruits Basket at a friend's birthday party. It was at a Borders near the shopping area we walked around, and I couldn't put it down. A few days later, I bought the first book and went from there. It was a series that grew on me as I grew up. Each book I read, I related to in some way. The Sohmas were almost real with all their personalities influenced by their past, and I saw them through Tohru's eyes, and I fell in love with Kyo almost instantly. It wasn't an obsession, beacuse I didn't go overboard. I bought the books, read them, and admired the strength that Tohru had to be the glue that held everyone together. I'll admit that I wanted to be Tohru, more than anything. I wanted to be cheerful, kind, happy and trusting, but as the series went on, I discovered that I was much more like Kyo, in the way he viewed the world and himself. I'm not sure who I'd be if I never discovered Fruits Basket. Reading it helped me discover the truth about myself and others. How the world works and how important your point of view is. The characters each had a specific issue that they worked out, and I could relate to and understand many of them. In a way, Fruits Basket was my best literary friend. It got me through tough times and was almost heaven sent at the time I discovered it. It was the solution I found to viewing life through a different lense. Each chapter I read, I felt wiser and more aware of people, their actions, motivations and their personalities. It answered questions for me that I never had the courage to ask anyone. Most of them had to do wih right or wrong, good or bad and selfish or unselfish. Instead of saying that Fruits Basket saved me, but in a way that might be true, I will say that Fruits Basket helped me learn how to save myself from myself. That's probably why I reread it every year. It is a story etched in my heart, helping me grow and change with a new discovery each read. If I were ever to meet the author, which would be pretty incredible, I would thank her immeadiatelty for creating so many wonderful characters and helping them grow and change into the people they always wanted to be. Everyone has a story that speaks to them, and stays with them through out the years. For me, Fruits Basket is one of those tales that I plan to give to my children one day, and recommend it to their children. Yes, it's a manga, but if this story was in the form of a novel, it would be a revelation of the human condition and the ways of the world. It would be an instant classic that stood the test of time. And I can honestly say that I'm not sure who or where I would be if I had never discovered it when I did. 

Eating Soumen with everyone

I'm currently rereading Fruits Basket, and this quote stood out to me. Like many of the wise advice and statements from the story, it related directly to what I was going through. Something I think anyone can relate to: worrying about the future. Where will I live? What will I do? Where will I go? Who will I be? All this "laundry" was going through my head, drowning me in anxiety and stressing me to the max. It just so happened that I decided to contine rereading Fruits Basket, and I came to this moment where Tohru was doing the exact thing I was: stressing out and worrying about the future. This is another intersting theme in the quarter life crisis as well. We are constantly worried about the future. Acheiving what's expected of us, getting the right job, finding the one, and working our way to the job we want are all thoughts that fill our heads day after day. In my case, I was doing more worrying than planning. I had become very discouraged, with the instability of my future hanging over my head like a giant looming spider, just waiting to strike. It was lucky I decided to try to chill out, otherwise I would have been tripping all over the "laundry" and probably created more. More questions that needed answering, more goals I haven't achieved, more criticisms to burden myself with. So when I came to this moment, it was like an answer to a prayer. This was exactly the piece of advice I was looking for, and even with all these worries hanging over me, I began to understand the phrase "One game at a time." from Wreck it Ralph. 

You can't solve big problems in one big action. There's no washing machine to make the job easier either. Everything that you want to achieve is done through small steps. 

Now, it's not like I've never heard this advice, and it's not like I haven't applied it in a few areas of my life, but I didn't realise just how important this advice is until now. 

Yes, I'm still worrying, but I try to have fun in the mean time: hang out with friends, write, watch a movie and of course plan. Hopefully a little of my problems will drift away as I continue to move forward. 

The thing is, I already understood this quote for the most part. But for me, it isn't easy to "take a break", "watch tv" or "eat soumen with everyone." During those moments, my worries creep up on me, only to attack after the fun is over. 

The other part of this quote was to "live in the moment". Yes, the future is coming, and moving forward is a good thing to do, but if we never "live in the moment", life will fly by and we won't notice until it's too late. 

It's like a day off from work where you feel guilty for not doing any work, when, in reality, you deserved the break. Sometimes "living in the moment" includes patting yourself on the back, looking at all you've accomplished, and being proud of where you are. 

So, I'm adding this quote to my important Fruits Basket tips, and hopefully, if I work at it, I can learn to take a break and just appreciate how far I've come. I've already done some laundry, and soon I'll have an open space to stand, look at the things I've accomplished and be proud of them.

Think about yourself so you can forget about yourself

This quote rang through my head when I finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I thought about it all day. Really thought about it. I had to ask myself what it really meant. In order to think about yourself, you think of what you want to do, who you want to be and what you really want. In order to forget yourself, you put others before you and you don't focus on yourself. So what did she mean?
Then, as I was reading Fruits Basket it hit me. Tohru Honda! Tohru thinks about herself, but no one would realize this because she is always focused on others. She treats people the way she wants to be treated, but at the same time, she protects herself. How you ask? By being generous, loving and kind. It goes back to the third book of the series when Momiji mentions a story they read in class. The Most Foolish Traveler In The World. This story is about a traveler who is always thinking of others and the people of the village use this to their advantage. When the traveler has lost everything, he wanders in the woods where the monsters convince him to give up his arms, legs and soon he is reduced to a head. Once the monster eats the traveler's eyes the monster thanks him and gives him a gift in return. The traveler thanks the monster happily as he dies, saying that this is the only gift he has ever received. The gift itself was a piece of paper with the word "fool" written on it. Momiji goes on to say that after they read the story . . . "Everyone laughed. While they laughed . . . I closed my eyes and thought about the traveler. I thought about the traveler who was tricked into being nothing but a crying head saying, "thank you." And . . . I thought . . . how lucky he was. Loss. . . Suffering . . . it's pointless to think about them. The traveler didn't think about them. That might be stupid to some people . . . but it's not stupid to me. Even though other people probably think he was being tricked, I don’t think he was. I think he did exactly what he wanted to do."
This is the characteristic that makes Tohru misunderstood. She is selfless sometimes, but she is selfish in others. She is always trying to be happy to make others happy.
I think I understand what this quote means now. In a way, to make others happy, you have to be happy yourself. If you're not happy, then the people around you aren't happy either, or they don't want to be with you because they know that you're not happy, and that makes them unhappy. Emotions are contagious things, and I guess Tohru learned that at a young age. So when people say they hate Tohru or they think she's weak, I shake my head. Tohru's strength is in her happiness.
Happiness is not an easy thing to achieve. You have to work at it. and working at happiness is a difficult and soul searching experience. It also varies with different people. Some people can tap into something that makes them happy easily. Some take years before they even think about who they are or what they want to do. Happiness is something you have to earn, and in earning it, you make other people happy too. But with the complications of the world and just life in general, you can't be happy all the time. You can, however, cherish the moments that you were happy and do your best to help others along the way. Finding happiness creates a sense of purpose, and just by seeking happiness out, you lighten the load of burdens that you constantly carry all the time.
You can also look at this as another way of saying, treat others the way you want to be treated, and once you achieve your goal, help someone else get there too. 
So in order to be yourself and help others discover happiness, you must think about yourself to forget yourself.

Beautiful Quote

I found this on tumblr and had to share it.
The pictures are made by Lydia.
The original post is here: http://advenna-avis.tumblr.com/post/36299580625/the-lonliest-people-are-the-kindest-the-saddest

Quote:  "The loneliest people are the kindest
             The saddest people smile the brightest
             The most damaged people are the wisest
             All because they don't wish to see others suffer the way they do."
-Fruits Basket

Kdrama month prompt 10: Your Favorite Line/s by a Female Third Wheel

"Star. It’s nice when you’re looking at it from afar, but when you look at it up close… it really isn’t anything special." -Rian- Dream High 2

I like this quote because it shows that Rian is wise. She finally learns that just because she is a star, it doesn't mean everything will go her way. This quote speaks for many things. Sometimes we forget that the people we admire were once like we are, still at trying to achieve the dream, and at the end of the day, they have the same hopes, dreams and cares that their fans do. Rian learns this by understanding how life works, and once she moves past her ideals, she discovers her own way to achieve a happy life.

Life isn't fair: A weather report

      We've all heard this phrase a thousand times. We must deal with life, and accept that it isn't fair. Today I actually did a bit of research and found an interesting article on how to view "fairness".  In general, we never think of weather as something we can control, so we tend not to blame the weather for our problems. If it rains, we bring an umbrella. If it snows, we wear coats and scarfs to keep off the cold. The point is, we adjust to the weather, and in doing so, we accept the fact that it will be cold, it will be wet, and it will be out of our control.
     But there are some things in life that we do not view that way. Personal problems, conflicts between family and friends and other situations at school or work, or even in the drive through. It happens all the time on the road: It's not fair I have to wait in a traffic jam; It's not fair I have to get out of the way for someone riding my tail: It's not fair that I have to deal with selfish people on the road.
    The simple thought of it's not fair becomes a powerful message to the brain that the situation can be controlled, when in reality, it is not. The saying goes, that you cannot control others, but you can control yourself. The same thing is true for tough times, illnesses and of course, conflict.
     An example would be day that it snows. You cannot control the snow, but you can wear a coat and gloves. You can't control the wind, but you can put a hood over your head. This is how you adapt to a situation, and accept it.
     I admit that this is the most difficult thing for me. I am always about fairness, justice and of course karma. But I live in a situation where expecting things to go my way is like standing in front of a hurricane and demanding that it will disappear. It's not going to happen, and no matter how "unfair" the situation is, the more I scream at the hurricane, the less likely it will do anything but continue to destroy my surroundings. So maybe I can look at the situation as if it were just that, a hurricane; something I cannot control and shouldn't even attempt to tame. Because it's just life. And I can stand there screaming at it until it runs me over, or find a shelter, move away from it and continue living.
     There are some situations that I can compare to rain, in the case that I don't mind it and accept that I cannot control it. Other situations are like snow. something that has to be dealt with: the cold with a coat and the snow with a shovel.
      Looking at Fairness like a weather report seems like a good coping mechanism. All things change with time, and perhaps that hurricane will go away, or turn into a simple breeze. But I can't control it and I shouldn't even try.

The article I read is here:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/headshrinkers-guide-the-galaxy/201108/life-isnt-fair

Perspective

                    "When you have a problem, don't go far. Go high."- My Girl Korean Drama

          This quote is all about putting things in perspective. I learned this when my family and I went for a drive to have a picnic for Easter in the mountains. Unfortunately, the lake was closed, but we did find this nice look out spot on our way into Colorado Springs. The view was beautiful, and it reminded me of this quote. Standing there, and watching the tiny dots of cars drive on a road no wider than my thumb gave me some perspective on my worries and problems. My Dad always tells me that my problems aren't always as important or stressful as I make them. Sometimes it takes a moment like this to show me that it's true. When you are on top of the world, and the entire landscape is stretching out around you, you forget your problems for a while and just enjoy the view.