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Showing posts with label Decisions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Decisions. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

On figuring things out



A few years ago, I believed that I always had to have a plan, and a set goal to get anywhere in life. 
Of course, these goals are important: they give you something to work for, and a way to find purpose in the world. But the plan is not everything. 
I thought I understood the meaning of the quote that Chong tells Sokka in Avatar the Last Aribender: "I hope you learned a little something about not letting the plans get in the way of the journey." 
But I think I understand his quote better now than a few years ago.
Of course, a plan isn't a bad thing, but it can't be concrete. Life is confusing and crazy. Nothing is set in stone. It's a constant flowing current moving from one moment to the next. Things change. People change. Plans change. 
I learned this through the situations that much of my friends and family went through because of the economy. I even had a deep conversation of that never ending debate money over happiness with my best friend. 
Yes, it is important to be responsible, and it is important to make a living, but it is also important to do the things that replenish our souls. Things that we create, and that we can be proud of when we look back on our accomplishments. 
Because I think way too much, and because I'm way too hard on myself. I focused on the goal, and forgot about the path to get there. 
There will be failures. There will be places you feel like you don't belong. There will be people who don't like you, or who judge you negatively about your dreams. There will be people who say you can't do the thing you've set your heart on. People will be out there, and they will tell you that you can't, but it is up to you to listen to them or continue pursuing what you love to do. 
To be honest, I still don't have it figured out. I'm currently in South Korea teaching English, and I'm torn between going back to the USA to pursue my dream of publishing a novel, and becoming a script writer, or staying here one more year, moving to a different city and allowing myself to try again. 
It's not that I've failed, but it's difficult for me, where I am currently, and while I'm grateful that things have gotten better, I still don't feel like I belong. 
Happiness, according to every book I've rea and every movie I've seen is the key to a healthy and meaningful life. 
No, it doesn't buy you anything, pay off your student loans, or even set up your retirement fund, but it does give you the satisfaction that you did your best at the end of the day. The feeling that life offers you just a little more than you were expecting. 
Happiness is the key. 
And, to be honest, I have a few more months to decide what my next step will be, but I have been so stressed out about this that I've asked everyone around me for advice. 
Sometimes I forget. Life is not a straight path. There are forks in the road, hills to climb, giant boulders that you have to learn how to walk around or over. There are even ruts, and sticky patches of mud and tar that you have to push through at a snail's pace. 
Life in a word is unpredictable. 
But if I choose one path, it doesn't mean I can never choose the other later, or even a better path that could be waiting around the corner. 
As long as you balance your responsibility and your happiness, you will be successful. It is one of the mysterious truths of life. 
So both elements are important. Taking responsibility and finding happiness. But they're not as easy as they seem.
Because we change, what we want can change too, and those wants can leads us down different paths. But regardless of what we choose, it is very important to think of our own health and happiness. 
For me, if I can write, and if I can make a difference (even a small one) then I'll be happy. Disney is the environment I loved in the working world, and the bookstore that I worked at echoed that atmosphere. I like helping others, but I also like the ability and freedom to express myself through writing and using the imagination. 
This is more of a personal entry than a public one, but I wanted to share what I have learned from weighing the options. 
Happiness is very important. So while the months roll by, I will try to decide which path to take, but this time, unlike a lot of decisions I have made, I will focus on what makes me happy.  


Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Call to Adventure






It's the oldest troupe in the world. The moment when everything changes pulls the protagonist out of the normal everyday routine, and they are forced to make a choice. Do I continue to live my life this way, or do I risk the unknown? Well, the funny thing is, this moment actually exists in real life. Most people recognize them as the midlife crisis, the life-changing decision, and the ever important epiphany. These moments are celebrated in stories, because they are important events in our lives. 
Once we discover that we don't like the pattern of our lives, or the situations we end up in, we realize that something must change. 
Change can be scary, but it can also be exciting. Once you change, or you accept a change, the possibilties are endless. This can be anything from moving away to adapting to a new schedule. Either way, one fact about the world is that change is always happening around us. In fact, stories would be boring and bland without the element of change. 
How many stories have you read where the protagonist stays the same? In most stories, the main character must go through a series of events, many of which that are painful, in order to change their perspective  in the world and what they believe they can do.
But the fact of the matter is, change is crucial to life. It is the ever flowing element that surrounds major events in history, and the entire spectrum of growing from a child to an adult. 
So I'm about to face a major change in my life, but in my opinion, it's a late one: leaving the nest. It's time, and I know it's been time to get out into the world and actually discover what I am capable of. It's time to broaden my horizons and begin a journey I should have begun years ago. But I put it off for one simple reason. I was afraid. Afraid not only of the unknown, but of my ability to handle whatever came at me. I'm still afraid of many things, but I also know that whatever you're afraid of, you will have to face sooner or later. 
So this is my call to adventure, and it's about time I answered it. Whatever happens after this moment is one step on the journey that I will now decide on my own. Yes I have a number of weeks before I leave, but that doesn't mean I should stay the same. 
If I want to be brave, I must act brave. So here I go. I have made my decision, and now there is no going back. 
I will be in South Korea for a year, teaching English. My adventure begins here.