A Wrinkle In Time- Spoilers Galore

This will not be a spoiler free review. There is no way in the world I could write one. Meg’s journey in this story is also mine. Every obstacle she faces, and the final battle that she must confront is the exact story that I have lived. 

Meg Murry is a character after my own heart. She’s insecure and cynical, but she is also loyal and brave. And smart. Incredibly smart. Using the laws of physics and her own inner strength, Meg braves the journey to find her father alongside her brother Charles Wallace, and the boy next door Calvin with the astral travelers Mrs Who, Mrs Which and Mrs Whatsit. 

Her character growth makes this film, and that’s why it spoke to me. 

Before Meg begins her journey, Mrs Who gives her an important quote. “ The wound is the place where the light enters you.” - Rumi. 

Meg must face her own faults to battle the darkness. She doesn’t travel well, while everyone else is just fine. She is closed off to her own brilliance and what makes her special. 

Her first real test in the film is trusting The Happy Medium, who allows her to find the balance within to open her heart to her father in order to find him. 

She finds a memory, the memory of the exact moment she last saw her father, before he disappeared. That memory leads her to Camaztoz, the evil planet where her father is trapped. A planet run by an evil mind known as the IT. 

As the planet changes into obstacle after obstacle, Meg and Calvin are separated from Charles Wallace. And after a harsh battle with the darkness, Calvin gives Meg one of the best lines that any insecure person could be given, “You don’t know how incredible you are.” 

After they find Charles Wallace, they face a strange encounter with a red eyed man who claims to know Meg’s father. Calvin and Charles trust him, but Meg is not so sure. She listens to her instinct and focuses on her goal. 

They had traveled to  Camaztoz, to find her father, but the IT wants something too, Charles Wallace and his brilliant mind. 

Meg watches her brother fall to darkness and enters a realm where the path is no longer visible. Still, she is determined to find her father, and uses her will, and the gift of the unseen (given by Mrs. Who) to climb the impossible staircase leading to her father. 

When she finds him, she finally lets herself cry, allowing all the grief to wash away, but the battle isn’t over. The IT has her brother, Charles Wallace, and only Meg can save him. 

While her father and Calvin manage to get away, Meg refuses to go with them. She would never leave her brother. 

I will not lie, the final battle in this version of the story is brutal. The IT speaks harsh words through Charles Wallace, and tosses Meg like a rag doll. 

But Meg is determined to save her brother. 

What does she have that the IT doesn’t? What can she do to save her brother?

She loves him. 

As the IT continues to use her brother against her, Meg screams at him, “You love me Charles Wallace, and I deserve to be loved!” 

It is that declaration that brings her brother back, and destroys the IT entirely. Charles rushes to his sister as the evil mind bursts into light. 

Mrs. Who, Mrs Which and Mrs Whatsit return, and they congratulate Meg on her success. She knows her own brilliance now, and she is able to lead them with no pain. She has become a warrior. 

She returns home, and brings her father to her mother, and thanks Calvin for taking the journey with her. 

 As she watches the happy scene of her family reunited she whispers, “Thank you” to the universe. 

So how did I react to this story? With my entire heart. 

I have been fighting a battle with darkness for a long time. My brother’s Autism.

We all have fights with siblings, and we get angry at them. We tell them that they hurt us. Autistic siblings don’t always understand this, and that has been a struggle for me my whole life. Meltdowns, harsh words and lack of empathy. 

Confused and lost, I shut myself away from others. 

I was like Meg, closed off, sad and angry. And yes, I was bullied like Meg was too. 

So many kids are mistreated in school, and that can scar them for life. I hope they all draw inspiration from Meg in this film. 

There are times when I must remember, the Autism is not my brother. He doesn’t always understand. And yes, I love him. I love him deeply, and I would never leave him behind. But I have a right to speak up for myself too. 

I was with Meg on that battlefield screaming those words, and I left the movie theatre with a newfound strength. I had become a warrior.  

The Murrys are a wonderful family, and not without their faults. But faults can save us. Meg’s faults saved her. 

While the IT told her all that was wrong with her, Meg proudly stated that she was all that and more. 

The Murrys all possess a powerful love for each other that transcends time and space. Love is the frequency that binds them together, no matter where they are. 

My family and I have been told how amazing it is that we stick together. We do because we have that love. 

There is no book on Autism, and there is no direct type of Autism. It is still a mystery, but that mystery is just a part of my family and my life. 

We all have the ability to love beyond faults. We all have the ability to see beyond labels.  

I don’t care what the critics say about this movie. I thought it was beautiful. The diverse cast was amazing and most importantly, the message hit home. 

It’s all about the power of love, and how it reaches no matter where you are. It’s universal and beautiful. Love can overcome anything. 

I could rate this movie, but I have a personal bias that ties me to it. 

All I can do, is look up at the stars, and whisper “Thank you” to the universe. 

Adversity

What is adversity? 

Well, it's anything that seems to be an obstacle in your path. Anything challenging to you that makes you think, and any sort of change that is not easy to adapt to. 

Every protagonist faces adversity, whether it's a difficult choice or a looming monster challenging them to battle. 

So what do you do, when a monster is staring you in the face? Do you run? Do you challenge it? Or do you pretend it isn't there? 

Many people deal or don't deal with adversity in many ways. Some people judge others by how they deal with adversity. 

But why is adversity so important in stories? Because adversity is important in life. 

The way a person deals with adversity, and the way they choose to reflect on it really can make a difference in the way they live their life, and how they view it. 

I'm going through adversity myself, but it may not seem serious: instead it's a bit embarassing. I almost accepted a false job. So I was scammed. What was the first thing I did? Did I rise up and say no? Did I make a decision right away?

No. I panicked. I began to say horrible things to myself ("You were an idiot." and "You let this happen.") 

But did that help me deal with the adversity? Absolutely not. 

It's normal to be overwhelmed when adversity rears its head, but it's not healthy to determine that it is your fault. This is a natural response, but it doesn't do anything for you. 

Sure you can complain, vent, and blame others, but that still doesn't work. 

So how do you handle a difficult situation? 

One way to handle it, is to accept it, and use it. 

This way is not often taught in schools, or even in everyday media. But the thing about accepting adversity is that you can find meaning in it. That meaning becomes a part of who you are. 

It's like leveling up in video games, and the hero's path in novels. Every conflict you face is a part of your story, and your journey. Each conflict is a step toward finding who you are, and just how far you can go. 

Now, my brush with adversity is minor compared to others.

My brother has Autism. And I can't tell you how many times my brother, my family and I were judged, ridiculed, and ignored because of it. 

We live in a society where different is often ostracized. And now that Autism is becoming more recognized, and less "abnormal" future Autisic children will never have to deal with some of the ignorance and indifference of the school systems that we did.

But that's not the point. 

The point is, my brother struggles with things that are not a struggle to other people. And because of this, he believes that he will not succeed in living a normal life. 

His adversity is a constant battle with acceptance, and just as we all struggle to accept ourselves, so my brother deals with outward and inward ridicule. 

I learned a lesson while working in Korea about the response that kids had to adversity. 

In my students' cases. Many of them didn't want to learn English. But when I reasoned with them, and agreed that English was difficult, but I believed they could learn it: things changed. 

Did I have to do this? No. But I did, because I understood that when you are faced with adversity, the last thing you want to be told is "you can't". I was offered no guidance, and no extra counseling with these students, but through daily encouragement and positive feedback, they got better. 

Now, we're all human, and no matter what problem we face, people will tell us to deal with it, but maybe that's just another way to call it a burden or obstacle. 

Instead, you can think of adversity as a tool. 

As Aimee Mullins explains in this video: instead of asking "How can I get around this?" we can ask "What can I do with this?". 

Seeing adversity, difficulty and even failure as a step toward self discovery may be just the perspective that inspires you to use it. Adversity is the opportunity to write your own story.  

Be Strong

Be strong,
and do what you can.
Even if life
doesn't go according to plan.
You must believe
or else what will you have?
An empty heart
and a wound without salve.
Deep breaths are important,
just two or three
can make all the difference
from what you can be.
When life gets tough
you be tough too.
Believe in yourself.
Do all you can do.
After all what is life
with no purpose in mind?
Beautiful details
Nice things to say
How you can improve
who you are day after day.
With every memory,
and every mistake,
a lesson is learned.
Each step  you take.
Be strong and be brave.
No matter the cost.
You have to be found
before you are lost.
Learn from your tears,
face your fears.
Do your best
but remember to rest.
Life can be cruel,
and life can be kind.
Sometimes you must lose
in order to find.
Create who you are
and have no doubt.
Whatever comes your way
you will figure it out. 

Working With Autism

I've debated on writing about working with Autism. It would be less of a book about Autism, and more about the people without Autism learning how to cope. My main focus would be siblings of someone with Autism, since I am one, and I never found a book that could help. Anyway, I thought up a bit of a prologue to the book while driving home today:

For reasons unknown, I will invite you into the world of Autism. This is a venture that is more internal than external. Autism is like many things in this world, you have to work at it, but unlike most things, you never get a break. It is always present in your daily routine and it does affect you. The first lessons I have learned in this experience involved just how human I am. I cannot be perfect, and I cannot try to fix everything. Even today I forget these details and continue to be too hard on myself. The most important lesson I learned was this, the trick to coping with an Autistic person is to separate them from the Autism. Impulses are not part of my brother's personality. This is easier said than done. You can forget this in the moment when "melt downs" occur and people stare at you like you have no idea how to handle a situation. It is then that you must keep in mind your own perspective. They really have no idea what you're going through. If they judge, it is their problem. Another important trick is to use perseverance. Think of the journey like a mountain hike. The goal to reach the top urges you forward and guides you through each step. Again, this is easier said than done, but the more you practice, the easier it gets. Another tip and this is actually important, be yourself. You need to take a break every once in awhile. Five minutes can work wonders on your mind when you can't figure out a problem. So why am I writing this? Because this is my life, and I know I'm not the only one. Siblings of someone with Autism are often overlooked in books and even in the process of therapy. But sometimes those siblings need to remember that they are also important. Working with Autism is difficult, but it isn't impossible. What matters are your priorities and goals.