The sad truth is that I have spent the majority of my life wasting time and energy on people who will not even waste time or energy on me. They won't listen, won't understand and absolutely refuse to face the truth that they have shoved at me for more years than I would ever admit. So I'm done.
There is no point in worrying, caring and even getting angry at the unfairness of my situation, and the fact I talk to brick walls. So I have decided to put my energy in far more important things. Pursuing my dreams, learning how to be myself and discovering where I belong.
Maybe if I take the energy I waste everyday (worrying about the future, worrying about people who don't worry about me, getting angry at the injustice of my situation, and being terrified of the result of their actions) and use that energy to get out of this situation, and find a people that don't drain me dry, I will be a happier person.
It's funny how protecting yourself, especially from reality and having to accept things that other people refuse to acknowledge becomes a difficult obstacle. But the people who tell you that clearly don't care about you. Wouldn't they want you to protect yourself? To be happy? To feel safe?
So I'm clearly on my own in this situation, and I have no choice but to accept it and move on. Well fine.
From now on, I will focus on the things I care about, and the people that actually care. Listening, trying to understand and actually caring are important details to notice when forming friendships and consulting family. If it's not there, move on.
