New Beginnings

It's time

Time
for new beginnings.
Time
to take the leap.
Time
to follow the list,
that I secretly keep.

It's time to grow.

Time
to bloom.

Time to leave the cage
and make some room.

I'm not a caterpillar any more,
but I still haven't
stepped out the door.

It's time
to see what lies in store.

To make my dreams
more than words.

To leave the cage
and join the birds.

Time
to begin my journey.

Time
to soar.

Because I'm not
who I was
anymore.

(picture from pinterest)

Think about yourself so you can forget about yourself

This quote rang through my head when I finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I thought about it all day. Really thought about it. I had to ask myself what it really meant. In order to think about yourself, you think of what you want to do, who you want to be and what you really want. In order to forget yourself, you put others before you and you don't focus on yourself. So what did she mean?
Then, as I was reading Fruits Basket it hit me. Tohru Honda! Tohru thinks about herself, but no one would realize this because she is always focused on others. She treats people the way she wants to be treated, but at the same time, she protects herself. How you ask? By being generous, loving and kind. It goes back to the third book of the series when Momiji mentions a story they read in class. The Most Foolish Traveler In The World. This story is about a traveler who is always thinking of others and the people of the village use this to their advantage. When the traveler has lost everything, he wanders in the woods where the monsters convince him to give up his arms, legs and soon he is reduced to a head. Once the monster eats the traveler's eyes the monster thanks him and gives him a gift in return. The traveler thanks the monster happily as he dies, saying that this is the only gift he has ever received. The gift itself was a piece of paper with the word "fool" written on it. Momiji goes on to say that after they read the story . . . "Everyone laughed. While they laughed . . . I closed my eyes and thought about the traveler. I thought about the traveler who was tricked into being nothing but a crying head saying, "thank you." And . . . I thought . . . how lucky he was. Loss. . . Suffering . . . it's pointless to think about them. The traveler didn't think about them. That might be stupid to some people . . . but it's not stupid to me. Even though other people probably think he was being tricked, I don’t think he was. I think he did exactly what he wanted to do."
This is the characteristic that makes Tohru misunderstood. She is selfless sometimes, but she is selfish in others. She is always trying to be happy to make others happy.
I think I understand what this quote means now. In a way, to make others happy, you have to be happy yourself. If you're not happy, then the people around you aren't happy either, or they don't want to be with you because they know that you're not happy, and that makes them unhappy. Emotions are contagious things, and I guess Tohru learned that at a young age. So when people say they hate Tohru or they think she's weak, I shake my head. Tohru's strength is in her happiness.
Happiness is not an easy thing to achieve. You have to work at it. and working at happiness is a difficult and soul searching experience. It also varies with different people. Some people can tap into something that makes them happy easily. Some take years before they even think about who they are or what they want to do. Happiness is something you have to earn, and in earning it, you make other people happy too. But with the complications of the world and just life in general, you can't be happy all the time. You can, however, cherish the moments that you were happy and do your best to help others along the way. Finding happiness creates a sense of purpose, and just by seeking happiness out, you lighten the load of burdens that you constantly carry all the time.
You can also look at this as another way of saying, treat others the way you want to be treated, and once you achieve your goal, help someone else get there too. 
So in order to be yourself and help others discover happiness, you must think about yourself to forget yourself.

Lizzie Bennet Polyvore set

The last episode of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries has happened, so I had to do a tribute to the series and the amazing character of Lizzie Bennet. Ashley Clements herself suggested the dress from Modcloth since the original outfit is sold out at Macys. I had to find a key necklace to go with it, and I had to add the I love Darcy bag that she admitted to carrying around while Lizzie was at Pemberly Digital. The books are an accent to Lizzie's love of reading and I had to find a pair of Anthropologie earrings because Lizzie loves Anthropologie. Her signature plaid shirt was also required, and I found a pair of boots from nine west to complete the set. I will miss loving Mondays and Thursdays for the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, but this story will always mean something to me.
You can find the set here:  http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=77090165

The Sarah Golden Manifesto

"You are the creator and main character of your own story. Life is the journey you walk to learn who you are. Don't let dragons stop you from becoming all you can be. Create your own magic and live your favorite story. Be the hero and live the life you dream."

Heartsong of the week: The Listening by Lights

"I'm such a mess."

The Unlimited Choices in life

At the crossroads
there are many paths to choose.
Some to gain.
Some to loose.
Standing there
it is okay
to take a breath
and greet the day.
Enjoy the breeze.
Watch the trees.
Decide where you want to go.
Take a step towards there.
Laugh and smile.
Pause for a while.
You never know
what life has in store,
or what you lose
when you want more.

Jane Bennet Polyvore set

I made this set dedicated to Jane Bennet from the Lizzie Bennet Diaries. I added the snickerdoodles for obvious reasons, and the mug based on Jane's famous quote "Everyone deserves tea." I based this set off the picture below and the episode where Jane wears this dress. Enjoy :)

View full set here:
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=76362277

A Visit to the Library Polyvore set for Belle

I found a fanart of Belle on tumblr and loved the style so much that I created a Polyvore set! Unfortunately, I couldn't find the leather satchel with the rose on it like the artwork. I named the Polyvore set after the picture.

View the full set here:  http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=76248854

Here's the picture that inspired the set:

Uplifting words from a Japanese Fisherman

This is an awesome tumblr find. I need to watch this everyday.

You know you're a Lizzie Bennet Diaries fan when . . .

"A single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife" is a universal fact, not opinion.
You've heard "My name is Lizzie Bennet and . . . " at least 97 times now.
You know about "the most awkward dance ever."
You appreciate the wonders of costume theater.
Things in your life are not just interesting, they are "illuminating"
You've heard two different stories about Batman and Darvid.
You cheered when a website was taken down.
You support team Figi.
You have a love hate relationship with snickerdoodles.
Maria Lu is part of your fandom.
You understand the importance of a beret and bowtie.
Big sun hats and fancy scarfs make you think of southern accents and obsessive schemes to marry off daughters.
You know that a company called Collins and Collins exists.
You watched a demonstration on light bulbs and light switches.
You've seen the green bean gelatin.
You know how dangerous cutting coupons is.
You love Mondays and Thursdays.
You've heard about the list of reasons that Lizzie is perpetually single.
You've seen Netherfield.
You want to work for Pemberley Digital.
You know about Domino.
You suddenly want to visit San Francisco.
You know/ love the brand Anthropologie.
You love Jing.
You know that "everyone deserves tea", "nothing gets done without achohol" and "cake solves everything."
You love the word verisimilitude.
You know who showed up at Lizzie's house in the rain last night.
You know that Darcy can be Fitz, and Fitz can be Darcy.
Anniekins creeps you out.
You know that in San Francisco "The hills can be quite unforgiving."
You've seen that Mcdonalds commercial.
You know that Mr. Collins was once a zombie lover on CASTLE.
You use the word grug to describe a grope hug.
You follow a cat on twitter.
You were at John Green's night of awesome.
You know about Daniel Vincent Gordh's competition with Taco Bell.
You've seen Bearcy.
Plaid button up shirts have a whole new meaning to you.
You follow fictional characters on twitter, pinterest, tumblr and youtube.
 LBD does NOT stand for little black dress.


 I made this list for Once a while back, and I decided that The Lizzie Bennet Diaries had to have one. Feel free to comment and add to the list :)

LBD 30 day challenge day 30: Another book you'd want to see a similar adaption for?

If it's another Austen title, I think Emma would be ideal. I can see modern day Emma dragging Knightley into a video project where she interviews people and plays Cupid by matching them together. Of course, her most important project has yet to come when Knightley is added to the list.

I recently found a more modern adaption of the novel and I liked how Jane was true to character, but she wasn't as meek and shy as the Jane of the original. I can see Jane vloging about her new job working for the mysterious Rochester somewhere near Hollywood.

Heartsong of the week: Book of Days by Enya

I picture myself at a crossroads, and the episode from Avatar the Last Airbender called "The Crossroads of Destiny." comes to mind. This crossroads has more than four paths, in fact it's all over the place. I know I have to pick a path, but I'm terrified that I'll regret my choice.
This fear is apparently part of the quarterlife crisis, where you feel every decision you make will have huge consequences in the future (good or bad). This song puts me there, and describes everything going through my head.

LBD 30 day challenge day 29: Favorite prop item

The stuffed dog for Catherine De Bourgh's character. Seriously, it was so random and unexpected. I love that one of the eyes is falling out, and the stuffing is coming out of the eye socket.
Another favorite is the bow tie for Darcy. It's a classic!

LBD 30 day challenge day 28: Favorite siblings?

Lizzie and Jane. It's funny because their personalities are very different, but they get along and have a very powerful friendship. Lizzie would do anything for Jane, and Jane is always there for Lizzie when she's feeling sad. I almost envy their relationship because if I had a sister, I would love for her to be like Jane Bennet.

A second favorite is obviously the Darcy siblings, William and Gigi. They are literally polar opposites in personality, yet Darcy would do anything for his sister, and Gigi would do anything for Darcy. Sometimes I wonder if I would be different if I had a sibling closer to my age . . .

LBD 30 day challenge day 27: Favorite outfit

The Inkprint Bloom dress from Anthropologie. I love this dress, and I have my own thanks to information from Ashley Clements. It's one of my favorite dresses and it's up there with Belle's Armani Exchange lace dress. Other favorites are Lizzie's star print dress and her Bar III dress from Macys.

Wise quote and pretty pictures

LBD 30 day challenge day 26: Cutest moment

When Bing Lee and Jane were talking to "Charlotte" on camera. Everything about that scene was adorable and sweet.

LBD 30 day challenge 25: Something you would change?

I would bring the adults in. As much fun as the costume theater is, it was even cooler to compare the Bennet's re-enactment of the characters with their actual selves. Lizzie makes very interesting impressions of her mother, father and Catherine De Burg, but we never see them. This is what made the episode where Darcy was introduced so powerful. Impression after impression was made of him, but when he actually appeared, the audience could witness his actions and make conclusions of their own. Right now we have very exaggerated portrayals of Lizzie's parents and Catherine De Burg. Seeing these impressions, and comparing them to Lizzie's view of Darcy before he appeared on camera, would make Lizzie's story more powerful and the audience can see these characters and decide who they are themselves.

LBD 30 day challenge day 24: Best impression of a character

I loved Lizzie's impression of Catherine De Bourgh. The dog is the best part :)

China Girl from Oz Polyvore set

I really loved China Girl's outfit and her character was amazing in the film. I added the teacup and teapot because that's what the village of China Town looked like in Oz.

Details and full set here:
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=75201011

The Quarter Life Crisis

 http://www.ludlowandco.com/2012/08/bookaholics-anonymous/


I think I'm going to give this list a try. I've already read a few books on the list, and who knows, maybe I'll learn something about courage and living. I have heard of the quarter life crisis recently and I didn't take it seriously until now. With everything constantly changing and hardly anything familiar around me anymore, I might be going through this process after all.
In many ways, I feel like I'm left behind, especially in my generation, but I know that if I am, it's my fault. I never truly lived . . . and I still have to push myself to try something different or new. It's a constant struggle, but a personal one. No one can help me with this problem except myself. It's my own dragon, and though I have armor, I don't have a sword to defeat it with. My battle has probably only just begun by realizing what's wrong and what I have to do about it. If I continue to ignore it, or distract myself, it will only get worse. Usually things happen for a reason, and now I have to find out the reason I've been this way, and what I can do to prevent myself from staying this way.The goal is to get out there and just allow myself to be. Not to be torn by indecision, racked with worry or swamped with fear. Negativity is a huge part of this, but there's something else as well, some sort of indifference to myself or maybe even other people.
I'm really bad at this, talking without constantly dreading what I say. Every time I vent I just feel like I'm whining and complaining about something I can't do anything about. Most of the problems and worries I drag around with me are issues I can't change. It's up to other people and it's up to life itself in some cases. So I have my armor, but it's extremely heavy, and I still need to make a sword. This is the part where I feel left behind.
It's probably silly, but I feel like most people my age learned how to make their swords already and they have taken another step. One step I can't understand or define, and they are prepared or possibly they have even won their battle. This sword is probably made by taking a step I can't even think of. It might be something so different and so strange to me that I might not recognize it.
Whenever I talk like this, I guess it sounds like I'm saying my life is more difficult than others, but  I don't see it that way. I understand that everyone has problems and everyone deals with them differently.  I'm just trying to learn how to deal with mine.
Maybe the answer will come tomorrow, or maybe years from now it will suddenly be clear what I need to do, but right now, it's just a mess I stare at day after day. This is no way to live, and it's ridiculous that I am my own worst enemy.
Hopefully these stories, written by people years ago, some living and some gone, will teach me that step. Life is a journey, but in order to journey, you must walk on the path. Stopping midway won't get you anywhere.

Heart song of the week- Come Clean by Hillary Duff

LBD 30 day challenge day 22: Favorite episode

Episode 78: The Lizzie Trap

This is probably my favorite episode because so much is going on here, and it's balanced nicely. Lizzie is ready to make new friends and live in the moment. Gigi gives her an unexpected one by literally shoving Darcy toward her. First we see that Lizzie has changed her opinion of Darcy, and then we see Darcy being a gentleman. Both of them show a softer side that we've never seen before, and Lizzie especially shows that she doesn't want to offend him. The interesting thing about this episode is that both Darcy and Lizzie are testing out the atmosphere. Last time they saw each other, they weren't on good terms, and much has changed since then. I really loved Gigi in this episode, putting on an act and plotting with Fitz to bring Darcy and Lizzie back together. It shows how much Lizzie and Darcy have changed, and how similar they are.

LBD 30 day challenge day 21: What keeps you watching?

The clever dialogue, the modern day twists and the characters keep me watching The Lizzie Bennet Diaries. It's a habit to watch every Monday Morning, before I even write or blog and every Thursday morning before work or during my break. It's a great story and the modern day version is something
I can relate to easily. I'm curious how close they follow the novel and how much will change to reflect modern ideas and ways of life.

LBD 30 day challenge day 20: Lydia adorbs or annoying?

I never liked Lydia in the novel. She was so selfish and constantly cried for attention. She runs off with George Wickham, then brags about being married to him, leaving her family to patch up the situation. She never really bonds with her sisters, too busy bragging about herself to care about the difficult situation she put them in. Every interpretation of her is negative, so I was pleasantly surprised to find positive aspects in the Lydia of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries. Yes, this Lydia cries for attention, but we see her concern for her sister. When Lizzie is sad, Lydia tries to cheer her up by being goofy and obnoxious. Instead of running away with George Wickham, Lydia learns from her mistake and decides to be more open and honest with Lizzie. This is a good transformation, because it makes this Lydia more misunderstood than selfish. Her cry for attention is really a struggle to find who she is and what she is capable of. So I think Lydia is inbetween adorable and annoying. The annoying stuff is an act so she can feel in control of her life while the adorable part is her real character shinning through the mask. This was never explored in the original novel, but that could have been the motivation behind Lydia's actions.

A Touching scene from OUAT

Warning, this sneak peak is a spoiler, but I had to put it here because it is a beautiful scene. In context, Belle is lost and has no idea who she is, Rumple is dying and decides to answer that question for her, before it may be too late. It's a very touching scene, and I'm putting up here as a model for my future writing and as a RumBelle treat for my followers.

           

LBD 30 day challenge day 19: Character you are most like

When I'm around people I know really well, I'm a lot like Lizzie. I goof off, talk a lot and joke around. I'm also constantly analyzing everything that happens in my life and try to figure out the reason people act the way they do. I also love to read, and I consider myself a little witty, and hopefully charming.
When I'm around people I don't know, I can be like Jane. I'm a little shy, and I don't show my feelings at all if I can avoid it. I like to busy myself with work and projects, and I talk very little depending on the company. So the real me is more like Lizzie Bennet, but the less confident me is like Jane.

Polyvore set for Paula from Cybele's Secret

I made a set for Paula from Cybele's Secret. As an accent to the story, I added a statue of Cybele, and a book to compliment Paula's character. The earrings reminded me of the headscarf  that she wears on the cover picture. Her signature color is blue.

Full set here:
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=74638240

LBD 30 day challenge day 18: Favorite ship

This one is a tie. Of course I love Darcy and Lizzie because they're perfect for each other, but I also like Bing and Jane.  Darcy and Lizzie are both similar in matters of pride and prejudice (not just a shout out to the novel.) Darcy's prejudice comes with his view of people, especially Lizzie's family. His pride comes from the social status that he believes in, and what he expects of himself. Lizzie is quick to judge and does so often without reflecting on her judgements. This is her prejudice. She judges people based on what she hears and witnesses. Her pride is her personality. She has a habit of wanting to stand out, and her opinions will be heard, regardless of their exaggeration or bias.
Jane and Bing are different. They have similar dispositions, and both of them are kind, caring and trusting of their family and close friends. There's something charming about two similar personalities, but they are not identical. Bing values his friend's opinion over his own feelings. Jane doesn't show her feelings right away, but she trusts them completely. Although status is an important part of the novel, The Lizzie Bennet Diaries makes the issue different. Jane becomes busy to get her mind off off Bing and she doesn't sit around waiting for him to return, she changes. So even though Jane and Bing are both kind and caring, they respond to situations very differently.
That's why my favorite ship is tied. Darcy and Lizzie are a conflicting couple. Jane and Bing are a sweet couple. Both of these relationships reflect the personalities of the characters very nicely, and help them grow and learn.

LBD 30 day challenge day 17: What did you know of Pride and Prejudice before LBD?

The real question is what did I not know about Pride and Prejudice. Before LBD I read the book and watched the BBC version I don't know how many times. I also watched Keira Knightley's version and I have a movie called Bride and Prejudice which gives the story an Indian twist. I know that the original title of Pride and Prejudice was going to be First Impressions due to Lizzie's habit of judging people immediately after she met them. It was the first novel that Jane Austen published, and it is one of the most popular stories in literature. LBD and the BBC version are tied as my favorite adaptions of the novel. I love the pictures with the BBC version that have LBD quotes because it blends the stories nicely, from the original to the modern day.