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Saturday, October 19, 2013

How to not write

(A list of various truths from many different writing observations)

1. Claim to have writer's block: This is usually a reasonable excuse, unless the amount of time is too long to be believable anymore.
2. Focus on other things: Cleaning, working and of course "doing nothing" are the things that are normally prioritized when a writer isn't writing.
3. Whine and complain: Usually about not being able to write.
4. Read other's writing: This includes random gossip on the internet, your favorite classics, ads, and various titles of different genres.
5. Play video games: What better way is there to distract oneself from writing then bashing buttons and yelling at the screen during boss fights? Wasn't that relaxing?
6. Watch movies: Ah yes, the classic way to observe a story without reading anything.
7. Watch TV: This depends on your criticism of the characters, plot and over all story, versus what is actually on screen.
8. Take a walk: Every now and then, this gives you some ideas, like wearing a warmer jacket, or deciding to eat ice cream for no reason.
9. Talk to friends and family: Try to avoid bringing up writing.
10. Force yourself to write: You know reverse psychology? Maybe it is best to tell yourself not to write, and you may find yourself writing again.
11. Sing: But avoid songs like "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles, "Unwritten" by Natasha Beddingfield and other songs about writing.
12. Sit and stare at a blank page or computer screen: Trust me, many writers have done this.
13. Tell yourself that you will write eventually: Other ways to spout similar nonsense include, "I will write when inspiration strikes," or "I haven't found my Muse yet"
14. Tell yourself that this time will pass: You'll be writing again soon . . . maybe in a month, or a year.
15. Read your own writings: Hey, at least you're doing something with them!

There are many other ways to procrastinate, avoid and attempt then fail to write. These are a few that I have noticed.

What other "Writer's Blocks" have you faced?

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