As many people that know me have said, I am a thinker. I think a lot. About everything. The universe, the world, books, movies, coffee, tea, rain, what to have for breakfast. And my current thought pattern has involved the panic of what to do when my journey in South Korea comes to an end. My long-term goal is a big one, and to be fair, I have made quite a lot of progress in terms of where I want to be financially. It's the process of being an adult. To make these decisions that determine where you will be in life is a daunting and frightening concept. But there are some things in life you just can't control, and worrying doesn't change the situation.
In talking with a good friend, she brought up this concept called divine timing. Similar to destiny or fate, what is meant to be will fall into place.
This reminded me of the concept of hitsuzen in one of my favorite mangas Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle by CLAMP.
Hitsuzen is defined as a type of inevitability
Yuuko says hitsuzen is "a naturally foreordained event. A state in which other outcomes are impossible. A result which can only be obtained by a single casuality, and all other casualities would necessarily create different results."
This is not exactly the same concept as destiny or fate, where regardless of what you do, it will happen. Instead it is the concept that one action is a ripple effect that causes a series of bigger events that will eventually fall into place.
This is a difficult concept to grasp in a world where most of the things we want are now instantly available. But in terms of career, life and love, I believe that a certain amount of patience is required.
A while ago, while working at the book store, I found this book about something called the quarter life crisis, and how it effects my generation more than the previous one due to the lack of economic support that twenty-somethings can get.
Let's face it, most of us recent or even late former graduates are still paying back student loans, trying to go for the job we were promised in college, and meet all of society's demands for what is defined as an adult.
But life doesn't work that way. Sure there's a path, but it's not straight. It's paved with risks, failures, obstacles and bridges that cross the everflowing rivers of disappointment and sadness that come with the process of achieving a goal.
Life is full of surprises. Hardly anything goes to plan. But, opportunities come in their own time, and you must be willing to meet them.
Currently, I'm drifting in this sea of uncertainty, not sure what the future will hold in a few months is something I haven't really experienced before on this grand a scale.
But I do think there is something to be said about divine timing and hitsuzen. As long as you work towards a goal, and you don't let failure, rejection and criticism stop you, you will reach it. But in the meantime, along the path towards your goal, sometimes you will have to accept the uncertainty and just allow things to happen.
So I am done with constantly worrying about my future to the point of exhaustion. Everyday I take a small step on a greater journey that I can't predict. But as long as the steps I take mean something to me, and they help me reach the goal I've set, hitzusen will work its magic and I will be there before I know it.