Friday, November 16, 2012
Roses and Thorns
“Roses and thorns are parts of the same plant. Somehow though, some people are concerned mainly about the roses. The rose is not on the plant for more than a week, but the thorns are there forever.
Roses are teaching that the beauty of life will bloom, once you have taught yourself the lessons given by living with the thorns.” -Grigoris Deoudis
I saw this quote on tumblr today, and I thought it was beautiful and true.
We always look for roses in life, and who wouldn't? But we forget the many thorns that lead to them. I guess that's what someone means when they say that bad times are there so we can appreciate the good times. Stories teach this, for without the obstacles, how could the hero grow and change?
But still, this quote means more than that in my opinion. It's a quote about acceptance. Accepting the bad with the good is an important step in growing up. Understanding that good things don't always just happen and there are consequences to every action.
My problem is that I always look for thorns but I still expect roses. I go through life expecting the worst constantly, but still feel shocked and hurt when the worst happens. I guess I do this because I don't see the value of thorns. I only expect them and know that whatever I go through will be difficult and complicated. It's a grueling process, but it has become such a habit that I do this without thinking. Cringe for the worst and when it happens, expect it to be even more horrible.
I don't see the roses in my life. I don't see their value. I go through the thorns, expecting to come across at least one flower, but I have already set myself up for disappointment. All I expect are thorns, so all I get are thorns. There could be roses all around me, but because I focus on the thorns, I don't see them.
I'm not looking at the entire picture, and I have a negative bias that keeps me focused on the bad constantly.
At first, when I started doing this, I thought it was accepting the thorns, but it isn't. Instead of accepting the thorns, I am allowing them to control my life. So how do I step back to see the whole picture?
Photos by me